best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
