If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
