like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
