he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
