You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
