forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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