are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
