I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize