mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I looked at my own cervix.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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