Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
