soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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