u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
