Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Randomize
