do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
