ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
