there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
