I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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