girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
