D3 body, D1 cock
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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