Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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