And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
