she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
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