Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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