there's paper in my vomit.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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