Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
