My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
