you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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