What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
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