that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
