wrigley field is MILF paradise
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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