You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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