i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
worst night to have a conscience
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
