i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
