oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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