just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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