I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
