Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
