well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
