are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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