I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
