Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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