finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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