lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I think a kid would responsible me up
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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