god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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