I got chris browned last night
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
