Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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