apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
