you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
When are your genitals available?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
