Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize