My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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