dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
