this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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