okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize