Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Rumble strips road head = magical
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
