If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I think weed is turning my hair brown
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize