last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
