How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
