im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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