It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize