im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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