It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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