Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
