White coat. Heels.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
