I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize