Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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