i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
