is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
