You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
